Bigfoot claim officially labelled as hoax. Lack of global surprise is tangible. Image: Jan Tik/Flickr.
It’s unlikely to come as much of a shock to most of The Tech Herald’s faithful readership, but the recent Internet sensationalism surrounding the apparent June discovery of Bigfoot can now give way to predictable excuses and accusations after the ongoing hairy shenanigans in Georgia were officially slammed into Fox Mulder’s already bulging ‘hoax’ file.
Bringing the sensational story to an abrupt close, seemingly fortuitous hunters Matt Whitton, Rick Dyer and long-time Bigfoot tracker Tom Biscardi, have had the rug of credibility unceremoniously pulled from beneath their feet after falling to temptation and selling the mystery Bigfoot corpse for an undisclosed sum.
Reportedly handed over to a pair of unnamed researchers, the infamous beast, which according to Whitton and Dyer had been stored in a freezer for the sake of preservation, duly thawed out to reveal exactly what most sceptics expected it to -- a rubber gorilla suit.
According to Steve Kulls of squatchdetective.com, who was allowed to observe the thawing as the ice melted, the creature’s exposed head was found to be “unusually hollow in one small section.” And, as the process continued and the creature’s feet became clearly exposed, the researchers quickly found they were made of rubber.
The news follows an eagerly anticipated press conference this past weekend, during which the three hunters insisted that the find was genuine and attempted to support their claim with inconclusive DNA samples and a selection of photographs purportedly of the male Bigfoot body, which supposedly boasted a height of 2.3 metres and a weight of 226kg.
While packed with members of the media, inquisitive scientists, Bigfoot enthusiasts and the three hunters themselves, the press conference’s notable absentee was, of course, the great half-man, half-ape himself.
That no-show and also the appearance of some questionable YouTube clips made by Whitton and Dyer, which certainly compromised their reputations, spawned a rash of accusations labelling the Georgian hunters as the purveyors of nothing more than an elaborate prank.
Those accusations appear to have carried through to truth in light of the thawed ape outfit, and duly return Bigfoot to the stuff of legend.
If you listen carefully, you may well hear the huge sighs of relief pouring from tourism operators all across North America wherever there’s dense forestry ideal for hosting Bigfoot-tracking events.
The Associated Press reports that telephone calls to both Whitton and Dyer have not been returned.
Comment on this Story