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Thrusting technology guru Steve Wosniak into the nationwide spotlight via the medium of dance was only ever going to lead to car-crash television. Bearing that in mind, it’s with little surprise that we report the Apple co-founder’s first week on Dancing with the Stars wasn’t exactly a fleet-footed success.
Is it Steve Wozniak or Tinky Winky? Image: picturefeed/Flickr.
Moreover, original UK judges Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli were both frank and forthright in their criticisms of Wozniak during the ABC show’s season premiere, commending the entertainment value of the performance but clearly unimpressed by the big man’s technical abilities.
“It held my attention throughout. I was fascinated by it actually,” opened Goodman, “but overall it was a disaster.”
Tonioli was slightly less subtle with his critique of Wozniak’s first dance before the cameras alongside professional partner Karina Smirnoff – who tried her best to keep all eyes on her thanks to an extremely sexy outfit.
“I don’t know if it was hilarious or delirious,” said Tonioli amid a cacophony of audience booing. “It was like watching a Tellytubby going mad in a gay pride parade.”
Leaving the negative comments regarding Wozniak’s floor skills to her judging colleagues, renowned choreography Carrie Ann Inaba instead chose to focus on the enthusiasm and spirit that the tech giant carried with him.
“You are what this competition is all about,” she enthused. “You are definitely doing something new, you’re definitely going out on a limb, and you went for it.”
By the end of the evening’s entertainment, the judges’ scores left Wozniak propping up the celebrity leader board, with the likes of Gilles Marini, Shawn Johnson and Mellisa Rycroft heading the pack after week one.
Despite floundering beneath the weight of expectation, Wozniak remained upbeat about his chances for week two, insisting that his Cha Cha Cha with Karina had been the most fun he’d ever had.
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